Life Is Good

Dragging steaks, franks, and sauerkraut through the supermarket aisle last night, I discovered that my weight now is lower, and my breasts are smaller, than Kim Kardashian’s. My fitness regime is working after all. I also discovered and bought this.

Everything you see here is now illegal. Is there any serious objection, though, to the proposition that this was a way, way better country back in the days of cigarettes and martinis?

Let me hear it.